The Single WORST Thing You Can Do To Your Relationship

The Single WORST Thing You Can Do to Your Relationship

(AKA What NOT to Say to the One You Love)

shutterstock_203252887It’s that romantic time of year, Valentine’s Day, when we all rush out and buy each other sweets, gifts and plan dates, hoping to get back that loving feeling. I’m on a quest to help you make that feeling last all year long. I’ve shared with you the Single MOST Important Thing You Can Do for Your Relationship, and I’d also like to share what I believe to be the worst thing. (This is assuming neither of you is unfaithful or abusive.)

The way we talk with each other is truly the best way to predict the success or failure of a relationship. By success or failure, I don’t simply mean whether you will stay together, but also, whether you will be happy together.

I’m writing it as though speaking to a man to simplify the message, but it goes both ways.

So here it is. What NOT to Say to the One You Love:

Anything that makes your partner feel belittled, made fun of, stupid, silly, embarrassed, condescended to and/or threatened should NOT be coming out of your mouth. You want to be the person who protects the one you love from all of that; the one who hugs her when someone has been horrid to her at work; the one who supports her when she has a crazy dream.

Need to be right all the time? Well, you’ll be right if you’re guessing she won’t be in the mood very often.

Need to say “I told you so” when she messes up? Ask yourself when that has ever helped you to learn from your mistakes.

Wouldn’t say it in front of her friends/parents/co-workers because you know you’d sound bad? Then don’t say it when you are alone with her.

Hold your tongue at those moments, and you’ll be holding her in your arms later.

Remember this 1 rule:

Is what you are about to say a line that the guy who gets the girl in the romantic movie would say? Or would it come out of the guy’s mouth who is about to get kicked to the curb?

Compassion. Patience. Respect. For you and for your partner.

Be the hero in your own life. Be her hero. And she’ll always be yours.

I wish you happiness and love always,

MJ

2 Comments

  1. Michelle says:

    I agree as well. What to do though when your husband is not so respectful? This is my only complaint with my marriage is that my husband doesn’t always think before he speaks and says things that are very hurtful at times. I know he loves me, and often he is apologizing later, but truly these condescending remarks do wear me down over time. Any ideas on how to help him to stop and reflect before he reacts?

    Like

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